Re: Poetry

by The Whistler 29th January 2009, 10:06

Vooja, tebi stvarno ide ovo jelda?

Citam ja to sve redovno i tu i na prozi, samo sto ne komentiram inace jer se ne osjecam kompetentnom da komentiram pisanje. Kod crtanja mogu reci jer se koliko toliko razumijem u anatomiju i proporcije i to, ali anatomiju TEKSTA ne razumijem jer nije moje podrucje, a glupo mi je samo napisati da je nesto dobro ili lose.

Ovu pjesmu mislim da mogu komentirati jer si njome NACRTAO SLIKU. Odlicno pises

A ja inace ne volim poeziju bas pretjerano.

by vooja 29th January 2009, 10:12

hvala....volim poeziju ali mislim da nisam dostojan da kazem i da je pisem..ovo su samo trabunjanja jednog prolaznika...jer putnik u pesmi nije nista drugo do prolaznik..a,opet,svi smo mi samo prolaznici..i cekamo stanicu,kapis?hehehe..Ma ovo sam upravo napisao,pokusavam da stvorim pesmu bez rime,jer mi rima ne ide mnogo,a kad se trudim da je napisem,da pogodim slogove i intonaciju,zvuci mi previse melodicno...Ovako mi se vise svidja..Hvala za pohvalu..I ja volim da crtam..moracu i ja nesto okaciti..samo da uslikam:-)

by chili_tapper 29th January 2009, 10:34

wiiiihihi...vooja super pjesma.....podsjeti me na razlog zasto nezelim ichi u neku udaljenu gimnaziju-bash zbog takvih guzvi....izmedju ostalog...hehhehe...ok ovo je bilo malo off topic,al je mene podsjetilo........dakle,super je! :cheers:

the whistler-zashto nebi komentirala neko npr.prozno djelo?....nemora to biti neki strucni komentar (tko tako uopce komentira..?)....nego jednostavno shto mislish.....iliti tvoj dojam procitanog......mislim,nije da te napadam...nego bih jednostavno htjela vidjeti i tvoj komentar ako neshto prochitash......meni su svi dobrodoshli..

:eaceman:

by paprichitza 29th January 2009, 10:39

vooja wrote:Mirisljava su sedista.
Truckaju u hodu.
Babe,cegerima se bore,
Za malo vazduha

Napred smejanje,nazad deciji plac.
Kondukter zajedljivi pakuje lica na kamaru.
Vise,jos,vise!
Vozac ne staje van stanice.

Zabranjeno pusenje,mesta za trudnice.
Zene se hvataju za rucke.
Babe za cegere,dede za babe.
Deca mrgodno njuskaju I sede.

Gledaju na drugu stranu.
Vrucina,zagusljivog li vazduha.
Sedista smrde,stari smrde.
Vozac,stani,stanica,da izadjem!

Ne staje,ne cuje,lica su mu nagurana..vise,jos,vise…
Od tela,ni da mrdnes.
Na staklima uhvatila se para.
Ne vidim vise svet,samo cegere.

Ruka prodorno cupa me po dzepovima.
Karta,karta,plati,karta!
Kaslju,guraju se,otrebeseni igraju u ritmu rupa na putu.
Necu kartu,hocu napolje,napolje!
Cujes li?

Neko dete pogleda me,iscerupanog I postidjenog.
Ustade I milo mi bese.
Pospan,izguzvanog lica,sednem.
Mirno talasaju uspavana temena.

Sanjivo nestajem u gomili.
Iznova I iznova placam kartu.
Vise ne znam ni gde sam krenuo.
Uskoro,valjda ce glavna.

odlicna pesma

...ja inace volim guzve...zanimljivo mi svo to guranje....

by The Whistler 29th January 2009, 10:44

chili_tapper wrote:the whistler-zashto nebi komentirala neko npr.prozno djelo?....nemora to biti neki strucni komentar (tko tako uopce komentira..?)....nego jednostavno shto mislish.....iliti tvoj dojam procitanog......mislim,nije da te napadam...nego bih jednostavno htjela vidjeti i tvoj komentar ako neshto prochitash......meni su svi dobrodoshli.. :eaceman:

LOL, profesionalna deformacija. Uce me na faksu vec 4 godine pisat eseje o tudjim proznim djelima. Esej se sastoji od uvoda u kojem imas tezu, tijela u kojem moras tezu potkrijepit citatima iz djela, i zakljucka, tako da sam naucila previse racionalizirat prozu koju procitam, a koja nije pisana za zabavu. A vi SVI od reda filozofirate o zivotu LOL

Ako napisem samo svidja mi se previse mi je prazno i fali mi jos nesto, a neznam rec zasto. Stvar navike pretpostavljam

Krenila sam vec par puta pisat komentare al mi nist ne zvuci dovoljno dobro.

by vooja 29th January 2009, 11:20

Pa i bolje je kad nisu hvale vec kritike...Da malo popravim...

by chili_tapper 29th January 2009, 12:07

LOL, profesionalna deformacija. Uce me na faksu vec 4 godine pisat eseje o tudjim proznim djelima. Esej se sastoji od uvoda u kojem imas tezu, tijela u kojem moras tezu potkrijepit citatima iz djela, i zakljucka, tako da sam naucila previse racionalizirat prozu koju procitam, a koja nije pisana za zabavu. A vi SVI od reda filozofirate o zivotu LOL

Ako napisem samo svidja mi se previse mi je prazno i fali mi jos nesto, a neznam rec zasto. Stvar navike pretpostavljam

Krenila sam vec par puta pisat komentare al mi nist ne zvuci dovoljno dobro.

relax...pa nisi na faxu...neche ti nitko sad tu doch i sjedit za vratom i tjerat te kako da neshto napishes....hehheh...al ajde...kad ti dodje ti napishi..i nemoj se zivcirat....hoæe li ovo ili ono....

A vi SVI od reda filozofirate o zivotu LOL

khm...pa nije valjda.....ja samo nekad filozofiram...........o zivotu....heheh.... :lol!:

by **Charlie`From`Stadium** 29th January 2009, 12:55

zofi dobre su vam pesmice

... mada ja ne volim poeziju bas toliko ... nekako mi nije dovoljno egzaktna stvar ...

by paprichitza 22nd May 2009, 08:49

nisam ljubitelj ljubavne poezije...i ne pisem je cesto....ali evo upravo sam ovo napisala...i cini mi se da nije bas losa...

When I first met you,
I thought you’re just a boy,
Now as you’re leaving,
It’s kinda hard letting you go.

You didn’t let me love you,
I know all the reasons,
Friendships last forever,
Love is just a season…

But maybe I’d rather live in a moment…

No risk, no result,
Maybe I’ll get hurt,
Maybe it’ll all end up in tears,
But true love sometimes burn…

But maybe crying is needed for smiling…

Let me love you,
I wanna live through your smile,
Let me love you,
I wanna live a life,
If my heart breaks,
And if a shed a tear,
At least I’d know,
I called someone my dear,
And it worth it…

If you really love someone,
You’ll let him go,
I don’t love you that much,
I won't let you...no

I just wanna find myself in you…
Let me love you,
I wanna live through your smile,
Let me love you,
I wanna live a life,
If my heart breaks,
And if a shed a tear,
At least I’d know,
I called someone my dear,
And it worth it…

by angel_baby 7th June 2009, 01:08

uuu svida mi se.

vidim da si kreativna.

by **Charlie`From`Stadium** 7th June 2009, 01:10

ma to je nasha ljubavna paprichica charlie

by lady.freakette 25th June 2009, 04:54

Evo jedne moje pjesmice...

Cvrkut ptica i
zaigrani cvjetovi
jednoga stabla.

U knjizi sjećanja,
na stranici najljepše čuvane misli.
Zamotane u povoje svjetlosti,
utopljene u mirisu lijera,
odolijevajući Starcu i Učitelju.

Vidi, svi su tu.
Sve tvoje igračke što si ih nekada
zvao najboljim prijateljima.
Sve tvoje slatke gluposti.
Tvoje bezbrižno poskakutanje
na putu sitnih kamenčića.

I tolika čežnja, srce vapi
za izvorom nepresušnih,
nepovratnih,
gotovo izmišljenih
otisaka.

Otisaka koji su te učinili
robom Vlastitoga.
Ah, ni Hermo ti više
ne može učiniti bijeg u djetinju ideju.

Već šim, il' korak, il' glas
prekida urođenu sponu
što ti je dana na korist
bezobrazno;
svaki dan, svaki sat
svaki trenutak
kojemu pribjegavaš.

Ispuštajući iz ruku
svojih naranče ubrane
u istome onom vrtu
u kojem ćeš
tren kasnije
umiriti svoje biće.

Grliš izgubljeno,
Ljubiš prošlo,
Voliš nezaboravljeno.

Traj', traj'
dok je daha
u ustima tvojim.

by paprichitza 3rd July 2009, 04:29

freakette, lepa je :cheers:

by **Rhcpfun** 4th July 2009, 08:35

Evo i jedne moje pesme.. Nije nista posebno (uzmite u obzir da je ovo moja prva pesma na engleskom:))

Theres lot of pain inside of me
My soul is crying but it shouldnt be
My baby left me she took my heart
Im screaming for help im fallin to dark

I have no reason to live
I have no reason to belive
Without you babyyy..........

When i close my eyes i can see your face
Ohh baby just one more time take me to the special place..
Just one more time lets feel the love
I cant live without you
I dont know how..

I have no reason to fight anymore
i have no reason, but i had it before..

This world is cruel
I feel like a fool
Just one step back and you`l be there for sure

Baby u need to belive
I know i can change
i just wanna kiss you
but u are out of range....

Prijavite ako ima neka gramaticka ili pravopisna greska:) (a verujem da ima)

Right or wrong
My song is strong
You don't like it
Get along

by paprichitza 4th July 2009, 09:31

odlicna je...pogotovo za prvu pesmu

by **Rhcpfun** 4th July 2009, 09:34

Hvala:) Ali nije jos gotova ima tu jos da se radi:)

by **LuckY** 4th July 2009, 09:55

Sviđa mi se...

Kao budući profesor engleskog jezika (hopefully) da kažem da nema nekih velikih grešaka, osim nekih izostavljenih apostrofa (there's i I'm) i 'Just one step back and you`lL be there for sure'

by **Rhcpfun** 4th July 2009, 09:58

Da uvek zaboravim apostrofe:) Znaci nisam toliko los a? Mislim sto se tice gramatike:)

by **LuckY** 4th July 2009, 09:59

Nisi, nisi... (ili sam ja možda loš profesor :P)

by **Rhcpfun** 4th July 2009, 10:05

Hehe nadam se da nisi:)

by **LuckY** 4th July 2009, 10:06

You and me both...

by **Rhcpfun** 4th July 2009, 10:09

Sweet:)

by **Rhcpfun** 5th July 2009, 23:00

Evo jos nesto od mene...

Another tear
I`m lost in fear
Pulled trigger
But it goes near
Lack of light
Dragon`s bite
Darkness is everywhere
I can`t win this fight

by **Rhcpfun** 8th July 2009, 12:29

Another tear
I`m lost in fear
Pulled the trigger
But it goes near
Lack of light
Dragon`s bite
Darkness is everywhere
I can win this fight

Deep as ocean
With no emotion
Sicker than other
Why should i bother
I know my name
I have no shame
There`s noone to trust
Noone to blame.

by paprichitza 8th July 2009, 22:49

odlicna pesma :cheers:

by **Rhcpfun** 9th July 2009, 01:29

Hvala :rock:

by N0b0dY We!rD L!kE mE 24th July 2009, 04:47

Ev neka moja pesmica imam ih jos ali me mrzi da ih postavljam

The night when he die

One night I saw tham sitting in a park
They were so happy but the sky was dark
He gave her love and whole his heart
But life found a way to set them apart.

He liked to hold her in his arms
He showed her his love for so many times
He was so strong, but at the same time tight
But all that went to past this night…

It was very late and he walked her home
He never wanted to leave her alone
He was looking at her when she came inside
He couldn’t see a men standing behind.

He held a gun in his hand
He wanted some money, but boy didn’t have
Boy wanted to scream but there’s no voice
The gun shut was the only noice…

The girl ran out when she heard the sound
She knew that something was going on
She saw his body laying in the street
She tuched his heart, but there is no beat…

She would give her heart and all she’s got
If she could bring him back to life
She would kill and she would die
If his death was just a lie!

She never had anyone else
Who would show her that life has a seanse
But that sense desapeared when he died
She couldn’t talk, she cried and cried!

Maybe she will never love again
She’ll never forget his name
But the pain will go away
It’ll be better then a yesterday

BUT…

Maybe she will never cry again
Maybe she’ll find someone who’s worthwile
Someone who will hold her hand
Who will bring back seanse to life…

by **Rhcpfun** 26th July 2009, 11:49

Svidja mi se! :cheers: Svaka cast

Evo jos nesto od mene

Show me your soul
And tell me baby
Can you make me feel better?
Can you be my purple stain?
C`mon girl think you can
Be my girl, I'll be your man

Let's get carried away
Let`s fly away on my zephyr
Just close your eyes and i`ll kiss you
`coz you are my special someone...

You know that i could die for you
But how deep is your love.......

Evo nesto na slicnu foru kao i potpis...

by Kike Flea 26th July 2009, 12:25

Rhcpfun wrote:Svidja mi se! :cheers: Svaka cast

Evo jos nesto od mene

Show me your soul
And tell me baby
Can you make me feel better?
Can you be my purple stain?
C`mon girl think you can
Be my girl, I'll be your man

Let's get carried away
Let`s fly away on my zephyr
Just close your eyes and i`ll kiss you
`coz you are my special someone...

You know that i could die for you
But how deep is your love.......

Evo nesto na slicnu foru kao i potpis...

zaaakon ceoce.. zaaakon

!
svidja mi se

baš ta poveznica sa rhcp lyricsima je zakon

!
daj još kaj smisli ;)

by **Rhcpfun** 27th July 2009, 07:47

Hvala kike:) Bice bice smislicu jos nesto:)

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